Insecurity and Miscommunication in Normal People
Tahmina Hossain ।। In an interview with The Paris Review, Sally Ronney says, she enjoys communicative issues and the riots it creates between her characters. This enjoyment is visible in all her works as it is an overused theme in her novels (Emre). Miscommunication and insecurity can ruin any relationship, whether it’s with friends, families, neighbors, or strangers. These two factors- miscommunication and insecurity- are extensively present in her novel- Normal People (2018). One of the main characters, Connell, is popular and well-loved in school because of his adaptable and friendly nature. Meanwhile, the other main character, Marianne, is prideful and introverted. These qualities make her classmates dislike Marianne. However, in spite of their personality differences, they get intimately involved in a secretive- yet- continuous on-and-off relationship.
Normal People opens with a perplexing association between Marianne and Connell, as they jump from friendship to relationship to situation-ship. The leading complexity of their revolving relationship is that they come from the opposite ends of the social ladder. Marianne’s parents are wealthy solicitors, and Lorainne [Connell’s mother] works as a maid at Marianne’s house. At the same time, Marianne’s unpopularity also plays a role in keeping their relationship a secret from everyone. To add a further twist in their life, they attend the same school in County Sligo, Ireland, where everyone knows the employer-employee relation their respective parents share. Afterward, they go to the same college at Trinity College Dublin, Ireland. Ironically, their situation reverses in college- Marianne ascends to popularity, and Connell gets sidelined.
This book deals with family violence, class differences, mental illness, teenage mistakes, and bullying. These factors create vast differences in the decisions and personalities between Marianne and Connell; however, they do not affect their astounding chemistry. Instead, amidst all these differences, trust stays. And that is the essence of their unyielding chemistry. Moreover, it is also a coming-of-age novel; thus, Rooney names each chapter as dates- which proceed chronologically from 2011 to 2015. As the chapters unfold, the main characters grow and adopt different perspectives. Their transition from adolescence to adulthood is nostalgic. Their immaturity and mistakes humble us as we see our past selves making the same wrong decisions. And, along with the characters, we learn to forgive them, and maybe ourselves too- because haven’t we all been there ourselves? That makes it harder to hate the characters despite the disappointments and frustrations you feel about them.
The two major themes- consistently present- throughout Normal People are insecurity and miscommunication. They are, specifically, present between the lead characters. For example, Marianne and Connell have known each other since their childhood. Connell picks up his mother from Marianne’s place. As a result, they get to interact more after school- away from the prying eyes of their respective acquaintances. These private interactions bring them emotionally closer. However, the intriguing aspect of their relationship is that, despite knowing each other so well, they are horrible at picking up verbal and nonverbal cues from one another.
I’m just nervous, he says. I feel like it’s pretty obvious I don’t want you to leave.
In a tiny voice she says: I don’t find it obvious what you want. (Rooney, 176)
As the quote shows, this is the first time in almost three years that they understand how terribly poor they are at taking cues- or knowing what the other person wants. An earlier realization would have saved them from hurting each other and made the book far shorter.
On the other hand, insecurity is even more profound in the book. Most major and minor characters wear a thick cloak of insecurity around themselves. Marianne struggles to believe she is lovable or beautiful. Meanwhile Connell feels insecure whenever he fails to attain social appreciation. Thus, he continuously aims to mold himself around societal expectations. This makes him a classic example of a people-pleaser who develops anxiety upon making minor mistakes. Both of them want to secure a scholarship to pacify their ego. For instance, Marianne wants the scholarship- because she wants to prove that she is smart enough to achieve it. For Marianne, intelligence is the only impressive quality about herself. Thus, winning the scholarship will validate her worth. At the same time, Connell needs the scholarship because he lacks the funds to afford good colleges- although he has the finances to afford a less reputable one. His desire to study in a prestigious college comes from the fact that it will make people praise him more.
Furthermore, Connell’s insecurity goes overdrive at Trinity College, Dublin, where his peers are too well-off compared to him- and face classism. He becomes self-conscious about his clothes, his residence, and not owning a MacBook. He yearns for the popularity and familiarity that he enjoyed in Sligo. His insecurity can arise from his financial status and his family history. He belongs from a lower income and working class family. Connell is the only son of his single mother- a fruit of teenage pregnancy. Although no one knows who his father is- except Lorainne. Yet his mother, Loraine, says when Connell wants to know the identity of his father, she will reveal it.
On the other hand, as insecure as Connell is, Marianne lives a more miserable life- trapped in a wealthy and abusive family. The unfortunate aspect of her traumatic life is that, initially, she fails to identify the abuse. Unfortunately, when Marianne does identify, she finds no viable solution to come out of it. On top of that, since Marianne never tries to heal herself from the abuse, thus she fails miserably at moving on in life. This makes Marianne feel unlovable. To fill this void left by her family, Marianne forms unhealthy relationships with all the partners she ever dates to cope with the void left by her family. Her decision to indulge in such activities reflects her struggle and her immature attempt to deal with past trauma. However, those unhealthy activities never leave her satiated. Instead, violating the limits of extreme makes Marianne question her self-worth.
Many readers may find this book infuriating because of the persisting episodes of miscommunication between Marianne and Connell- and the immature teenage angst that some of the characters pull. This will test your patience- undoubtedly. Moreover, Rooney has a distinct writing style; the dialogues are in non-quotations and paragraphs- making it difficult to differentiate between stream of thoughts and dialogues. Thus, every so often, you find yourself re-reading some passages. Meanwhile, Normal People is a character-driven novel and lacks a definite plot. Therefore, for people who indulge in well-plotted books, this novel may not be for you. Lastly, this book includes some graphical descriptions of violence. Thus, I will advise people who are sensitive to such issues to avoid reading this book.
On a positive note, despite exploring the reasons behind the characters’ appalling actions, Rooney never normalizes them. She ensures readers can relate to Marianne’s helplessness toward her family’s atrocities or feel the warmth emitted by the welcoming presence of Connell’s family.
Emre, Merve. “Loving the Limitations of the Novel: A Conversation between Sally Rooney and Merve Emre”. The Paris Review, 9 Oct. 2024, https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2024/10/09/loving-the-limitations-of-the-novel-a-conversation-between-sally-rooney-and-merve-emre/
Rooney, Sally. Normal People. Faber & Faber, 2018.
