Feminism and the Bad Mothers
Proma Orchi।। Responsibilities and motherhood are two exquisitely delicate topics in the light of “feminism”. In other ways, an extremely intricate linking network between feminism and motherhood. Because in the terms of tendering a relationship and responsibilities of a child’s well being, the “morals of responsibility of a child” poses a intriguing question to the feminists,
–Who sets the boundaries of what is right and what is wrong?
–Is the same moralities, ethics and responsibilities are applicable to males as well?
Lets see a comparative case:
Ayesha, a 28 year old competent lady, a graduate from Dhaka University, is currently working in a private company and residing in Dhaka with her husband and son. She does fulfill the duties of a regular wife alongside maintaining her job when suddenly her husband brings forth the proposal of, “Leaving her job, because his income is adequate enough to run the family.”The job was considered as her ” hobby ” and a hindrance to making extra time for her son.
Whenever the question of responsibility of a child emerges, we hold an ironclad believe that a mother’s attention is the foremost need for a child’s development of mental faculty. Ignoring the pure fact that a mother needs her own space and time,we probe that she should be supportive enough to make her child bloom.This long held tradition is so ubiquitously present in the society that we often forget the fact that motherhood doesn’t mean just sacrificing your potentials because your child needs attention.However,we tag working woman as “bad mother” or woman having a hobby/leisure “bad mother” very easily.
On the other side of the bridge,what defines a “male” as a “bad father”? Do a male needs to give up his hobbies and leisure, free times and jobs to tender and love his kids? Only definition that prevails is that you can be a bad father if you fail to meet the monetary need of your child/or you abuse them in other ways!!
The trend badly needs to change.Locking women in a cage and charging them with the sole development of the mental brought up of a child is that vicious cycle which needs to broken.The wheels of patriarchy and this assumption of sexist role in the society just smoothens the trend to continue.
It is high time not to differentiate between the traits of a mother and a father!
Proma Orchi: Intern doctor at Dhaka Medical College & Hospital
