Do makeups and high heels make you beautiful?
Asmaul Husna।। Few weeks back, I was going to Road number 5, Dhanmondi from Lalmatia. As there was huge traffic, a common scenario of our dear Dhaka, on the road and I was getting late for my meeting, while waiting at the traffic jam nearby Rabindra Sarobar, Dhanmondi, I decided to take a shortcut and walk through the Dhanmondi Lake. I was in a hurry to reach my destination on time. There was a huge crowd on the lakeside because a concert was going on at the Rabindra Sarobar stage. I was trying my best to sneak through the crowd to pass the roads fast. At one point, I found a girl – whose slow walk kind of barred me to go ahead faster – was walking in front of me and I looked at her with a deep frown.
I noticed that she was wearing a long dress, high heels – might be 4 or 5 inches, heavy makeup and shiny jewelry. The high heels were making her so uncomfortable that she could barely walk for which she’s holding a hand of a boy – could be a friend, boyfriend, brother, whoever. It was very much visible that she was not holding the hand out of romantic gesture rather out of sheer need for support while walking. Watching her, what struck my mind was her dependency. In a world where women are drastically fighting hard to be independent and to establish their self-worth, how will ‘this girl in front of me’ find a place of her own where she is independent or fight for her independence when she can’t even walk alone confidently by herself?
One of my nieces is reading at a university in Dhaka. Often, she shares the stories of her friends and everyday life experiences. On a weekend when we were chilling together at home, she was randomly talking about her best friend who takes, even if she doesn’t like it sometimes, two hours to do makeup if there’s any special occasion and an hour time on regular days. All because her boyfriend finds her smart and beautiful with it. One of my friends has started going to the gym lately out of sheer mental pressure because at her engagement ceremony, the relatives from her in-laws’ side body-shamed her for being fat and thus, not beautiful.
It’s undeniable that the girl, who was walking in front of me, thinks she needs to wear high heels to look beautiful whether she is comfortable with it or not. My niece’s friend is convinced that wearing makeup makes her beautiful. My friend believes she needs to lose weight to be beautiful. Like them, billions of women out there who believe they need to go through these processes to be beautiful. Do you find their idea of ‘beautiful’ is okay?
These scattered incidents are ringing bells in my mind these days. We all are aware that there are billion-dollar industries in different masks to define the ‘idea of beauty’ in women. The industries are literally chasing women, each and every day by creating insecurities, so that they would be convinced not to accept themselves in their natural form. Women need this, that, those and thousands of countless things to make them beautiful. Why so? (Well, these days, men also need lots of things to be beautiful. As this writing is solely talking about women, I am not going to the discussion on men’s part.)
Although it’s difficult to isolate ourselves the way capitalistic and media propagated definition of beauty is entwined in our everyday life, it’s not impossible. Why don’t we, women folks, appreciate ourselves the way we’re naturally born and grew up? We shouldn’t brainwash ourselves only because media is identifying our dark skin to not be beautiful, so it’s not; our curly hair isn’t glamorous, so it’s not; our short height isn’t presentable, so it’s not; our body isn’t attractive, so it’s not.
Is it really necessary to be so-called ‘beautiful’ if we need to go through the processes which we may find uncomfortable? Here, I am not belittling women who love to wear high heels, makeups and what not. It’s absolutely alright if one feels content and happy by doing so. I am not belittling women who go to the gym to turn to a zero figure. I think one should go to the gym to stay healthy and staying healthy is so beautiful.
Dear women, even in this 21st century when we are all thriving in our lives as individuals, when we all have done one thing or another to become strong personalities in our own arenas, when the time itself is devising brilliant plans to establish our equal rights, is it really necessary to pressurize ourselves for being beautiful the way propagated definition of beauty defines us? Do we truly need validation from others to be beautiful? That is something we need to reflect upon, I believe.
It’s simple. The propagated definition of beauty can never be enough to define us. We are beautiful the way we are. Naturally, with or without any embellishment. And with that belief, let’s wear confidence as a cape, chase life beautifully.
Asmaul Husna: Publication Associate, Centre for Policy Dialogue (CPD)
