Reborn

Anbarin Parisa Swadheenata।।

Justice? sorry not in this world. In this world we have the law.
Regret and remorse are innate to me very familiarly. Sitting on the water tank on our roof I stared blankly ahead at a man and a woman whose warmth and affection was what I craved for at the moment. Frozen in plastic as memories in a photo frame, they would neither listen to me nor reply. They would just witness my present helpless sate.

I , I am not worthy of an introduction. I am a disgrace to my society, recognized as a nobody after that incident happened. I used to live a life in which little happiness would come after terms of sufferings but it would bring bright smiles on our faces. One day my father decided for us to leave the village and to end our hardships by finding a job in the city. The city of lights where dreams are weaved, as people said. I was too naive to believe in this myth. This lie made me dream illusions like as, being successful enough to feed my parents full .Unwillingly I became the unfortunate daughter of my coward parents, who is stabbed each and every day by the anxious starring eyes of the society. Of course! some show pity towards me to show their goodness, but who knew that every time it burned my heart and soul with a fierce fire which i had tried to heal a little along with the passing time. My mind bleeds with disgusting thoughts. From now on I am a totally different person from all of you. Your children should not be too much involved with me, every morning when you see me, I should be the topic of your gossip, I have no rights to get married to a nice family, in short, I have no future. All I wait now is for a bigger entertainment news which would erase all  traces regarding my misfortune in your mind. For it was not only the rapist who raped my body to commit a crime, but also you people who used many rich ways to describe my state, many different words to describe my situation and many different actions to keep this gossip going on. Gradually you people raped my soul and dignity.
People are always looking for an opportunity to step upon one another’s shoulders to rise. Never bothered to realize whether the other person can actually bear the burden or not.
The reporters worked sincerely to dig deeper into the topic or the case to publish a more detailed news looking forward to a promotion. The TV channels found it to be an opportunity to rise their TRP. Everywhere there flowed endless sympathy to show their goodness. people shared the news to millions to show their consciousness and sorrow. I am a rural village girl, little do i know?…but at this stage of life I felt as my rape was a bait some hungry fishes were looking forward to, to use it as an excuse to fulfill their own needs.
The rapist spent a nice vacation in the jail and got bailed out. what can be done he’s rich and smart mouthed!
But the punishment must be endured by someone! If the criminal cannot be harmed then it must be the victim! who else will pay for my sins of getting raped?
At the end, I was punished both by fate and misfortunes. I suffered discriminations, pain, torture, violation of my rights, remorse and regret. These are just a few words which could torture your heart, soul and mind mercilessly. Murdering your desire to live. My parents could not bear my misfortunes and the hospitality my society served. They betrayed me. They left this selfish world, where justice is only served if  there is profit and special purpose. I come from a very low profiled family. My name is ‘The girl who was raped’ and whose parents committed suicide.
Right now standing at the edge of the roof, my body only needs a push, a mental push, to leave this rotten body and receive eternal freedom. I may be punished in hell but that is nothing compared to you devils eating my flesh with your eyes, words, and actions. I don’t want justice anymore. (Finally the barrier called fear was overcome and the girl offered her soul to God, just through a forward lean.)
two years later__
Emm, where am I?
May God bless you! you have finally recovered from coma, said the nurse. We had gone through many complicacies in order to cure you. You are a medical miracle my child. If I am correct your name is Neha Rahman right?
Are you a nurse? Neha asked in a confused tone. How come am I alive? Why am I alive?
The doctor was a very kind and generous man. He took the responsibility to cure Neha without any sort of payment or purpose. He spoke to Neha and tried to regain her back from such trauma that she had faced.
He said, destiny is not necessarily what we are going through or what happens afterwards, it’s actually based on how we decide to go through certain turns and twists of life. Each decision of yours will enclose a new turn, opportunity or path to you. It is you to decide, if you want to destroy your hardships or let them destroy you. Remember it was never your mistake to be the victim, it was never your decision. Other people will always think thought their own perspective and experience. It is you who have went through hell not them! remember being a women, if you have walked through hell, walk as if you own that place. Don’t let all you went through go to vain! consider it as a hardship breaking you to reborn for a future success. Pain shapes a women into a warrior. There are countless women like you fighting their ways out through the hungry eyes of the society. Your feelings of helplessness, shame, defectiveness, and self-blame are symptoms, not reality. My child if you are tired of living this way, learn to take a rest, it’s your life, it’s not worth to give away your existence for those inhuman to whom your presence doesn’t matter. In the end, remember pain is temporary quitting lasts forever. think about why you started when you feel like quitting, if your ambitions and self dependency is strong nothing can stop you from getting your way. I have said what I thought was necessary to make you realize, rest you are the master of your fate.
Neha did not utter a word during the whole conversation, but it was her tears and her looks that spoke the untold. she stared concentrated at the busy streets outside the window beside her bed. Alone, lost in her thoughts, she realized the value of life. She regained her will to live, her inner energy to establish an identity apart from the title she burdened as ‘the girl who was raped.’
It all takes for a savior to save a drowning life. Some take it lightly some abide by it as a duty and restore positive energy to such traumatized souls. To heal the wounded I encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgmental as possible. For along with the passing time we humans have knowing or unknowingly created some poisonous daggers masked as words, phrases or actions which can criticize one’s self respect to such an extend which gradually kills their will to survive.
Positivity, humanity and equality should be the trees we must plant in every minds and hearts, thus being honored to be called humans.