Love, Loneliness, Power and Self-discovery

karnoon shamsoon ।। 

In a world brimming with hope, I returned home with hopeful eyes filled with dreams: dreams of love, peace, and boundless happiness. But as the days unfolded, a harsh realisation took hold—I realised there was no real sense of home. The yearnings that had stirred within me were mere illusions, figments of my imagination. Loneliness overlapped my dreams, and it haunts me relentlessly.

At first, this realisation shattered my spirit, causing mental turmoil and leaving me on unstable ground. Yet, amidst the darkness, eventually a transformation occurred. Day by day, loneliness became my silent ally and my source of strength. Though It was a slow process, I began to embrace its power.

Then again, the struggle persists, change has been set in motion, and progress is being made. Now, I understand that those dreams, once near and dear, have vanished. The fear of loneliness, which used to consume me, has unwittingly granted me the ability to conquer my fears and wield them as weapons.

Yes, it took time to comprehend how to face fear head-on, and eventually it transformed into courage. My quest for happiness has transcended the realm of human longing. I once mistakenly believed that love held the key to everlasting joy—a force capable of bringing boundless delight and fulfilment.

Since I have learned that happiness, by its very nature, is fleeting. Love, as powerful as it may be, cannot guarantee a perpetual state of happiness. Relationships, even the most loving ones, undergo ups and downs, trials and tribulations. They can be marred by conflict, dissatisfaction, or disappointment.

Therefore, I have come to understand that only love can provide us with a lasting sense of home. When love fades, so does our perceived home. Placing sole reliance on love as a wellspring of eternal happiness may only lead to disillusionment when the initial euphoria wanes with the harsh realities of life.

And so, I now stand armoured with the knowledge that true happiness lies beyond the reach of external factors. It is a journey of self-discovery, embracing solitude as a companion, and finding strength in our own resilience. In this newfound understanding, I have discovered the power to build my own home, one that transcends the limitations of the tangible world and resides deep within the chambers of my soul.