Slut-Shaming : Who is the Slut?

Aadrita Mahzabeen ।। 

“Slut” shaming is a very serious topic in today’s society and has been continuing for decades now. This may take place both physically and virtually. Slut shaming is bullying where girls, specifically, are bullied through humiliation or ridiculed for the way they look, the way they dress, the way they act and for their sexuality in general. They’re also brought down for having sexual  thoughts, feelings or engaging in sexual activities. Girls are often called the insults “whores”, “sluts” and “hoes” during victim shaming, which refer to being prostitutes. Those insults are clearly problematic, but also very ironic as many people enjoy adult entertainment but still discriminate against the very ones to give them the service.

I believe that every girl has faced slut shaming at least once in their life, considering the fact that slut shaming is extremely common and anyone may be doing it without knowing so. Slut shaming is also one of the most common forms of sexual harassments that girl students have to deal with.

Direct forms of slut shaming include sharing pictures or videos of the target, usually without their permission, and posting rude or sexually explicit comments about their bodies. The perpetrators may engage in name-calling or sexual bullying as well. People also go as far as to use slut shaming and discrimination against women as a form of humour. An Instagram post containing a picture of a girl with exposed cleavage was captioned: “Hey girls did you know that your boobs go inside your shirt?”

Slut shaming culture can be seen in schools with ridiculously restrictive dress codes too. Girls are told to dress a certain way in order not to “distract” the boys. Curvy girls are often told to cover themselves up even when they are wearing clothes that perfectly comply with the rules and girls in general are also told not to “show too much skin”.

Simply pointing at a woman and calling her a slut can obviously or blaming a victim for facing sexual assault can be called slut shaming. So can the points I’ve mentioned above, but people can slut shame subtly as well. Whether they’re aware or unaware that they are doing so

Some forms of subtle slut shaming may be mocking a girl for wearing a lot of makeup or assuming that they dress nicely only for the male gaze. Another form of it may be blaming the girl for having her nude photos spread online. In this situation she has been betrayed by someone she trusted, it is not her fault. The one that posted it, did so without her permission as well, so why should the girl be blamed?

I have seen and experienced a fair share of slut shaming in my life as well. These are some of my stories. A girl at my school once got sent to the principal’s office for wearing shorts during physical education class at my school. The pair of shorts were not provocative in any way, yet she still got told to cover herself up and wear full length trousers from the next day. She is simply a teen girl in the 6th grade wanting to study or play at her school.

Once in the fifth grade, when I was about ten or eleven years old, I was told to wear a scarf because “I’m getting older” and the person who said it gestured towards my chest. My teacher at school asked me to buy a new and larger shirt at the tailors, again, gesturing to my chest. She said that the boys would make fun of me and I was about the same age back then as well.

Now another shocking fact is that I’ve faced slut shaming even when I was just in kindergarten! I was at a school for an admission test and wearing a short sleeved dress, and apparently that was considered offensive clothing. The teacher pulled my sleeve and harshly released it. The impact on my skin had the same feeling as pulling a rubber band and suddenly letting it go. I was very upset and only about five or six years old at the time, and I was told that I was showing too much skin, and even hurt physically for it. The fact that literal children and teenagers have to deal with comments and problems like these is very upsetting.

Slut shaming can have a very negative impact on the mental health of girls. It may cause depression, anxiety, sometimes eating disorders and even thoughts of suicide. Many girls have committed suicide due to slut shaming. The double standard and these ridiculous societal beliefs are very disappointing to people. Boys are usually allowed to express themselves freely, do anything they want and are often praised for their relationships and sexual experiences while the complete opposite applies to girls. Girls are labelled as dirty, easy or as “hypersexual” in these cases.

If a girl wants to show her skin and express herself, it does not make her a slut. If a woman shows her cleavage or even more than that, it still does not give anyone the right to insult her. We must break the belief of women being inferior, or calling women who like to dress nicely, “sluts”. We all want us and our loved ones to live in a safe society, and one of the steps to reach that goal is to change our societal views and beliefs. Just changing our views and stopping slut-shaming culture, sexual harassments and similar topics can help girls lead their lives safely.